How to have a Spirit Release Ceremony for a Pet

part 3 of the "How to Have a Pet Funeral or Celebration of Life" series

written by a person, not a computer

5 minute read

Having a pet funeral, or celebration of life isn't easy, but it is important for the surviving members of a family to process their grief, celebrate a loved ones' life, and begin to move forward. In part 1 we learned about setting the intentions for an event like this, and how to physically set up the space. It part 2, we learned about what to say in a pet eulogy. In this section, we cover how to have a spirit release ceremony for a pet.

Spirit release is a common part of a funeral, or a celebration of life around the world. There are many variations based on a families specific belief system, but they all represent the spirit of the deceased transitioning from our physical world to a spiritual one, and our willingness to let them do so.

Spirit releases for people typically follow a specific faith tradition, but because not all pets are equally devoted as their families we will focus on a spiritual version. While there are many names for the pet afterlife, it is commonly held that departed pets join the spirit world, and wait for us at the Rainbow Bridge.

In February of 2023 National Geographic investigated and reported on the true origins of that text. It’s a great read, and the author at the time, a 19 year old Scottish girl, is still an animal lover at age 82.

Typically in a human funeral, a dove or doves are released, symbolizing a souls journey to the beyond, either solo, or with accompanying spirits. As physically releasing birds is expensive, (and many times the doves die), I'm not going to recommend this method to you, an animal lover. Instead, we will be using smoke and fire.

Fire literally transforms solid matter into a state in which it becomes part of the sky; this is the first metaphor that matches what is happening. Our pet's physical form has, or will be changing into one we cannot see.

While our ancestors used candles for the practical purpose of providing light at night, but they also remind us of the fragility of life watching that bright little flame. One unlucky gust may put a flame out, but even a stout candle will eventually burn down to nothing, no matter what conditions we give it.

A simple spirit release ceremony can be as follows. This first version works well for those comfortable with expressing their feelings.

Everyone gets a candle to light and hold ( be safe). Tea lights in small glasses, or votives work well. They will be easy to hold, and protected from the breeze. A standard tea light will burn at least 3 hours, so unless your ceremony is extremely long, nothing should burn out on its own.

Each person in turn can express final gratitude to the deceased and encourage the spirit on its way, then blow their candle out. This can be done individually, or as a group. Here are a couple examples if you’re unsure what to say. Young participants may want to have their statement written out beforehand.

Rufus, we love you, and we thank you for the time you spent with us. When these flames go out, we release your spirit into the sky, and know that we will see you only briefly in dreams until we meet again one day by the Rainbow Bridge.

Rufus, a piece of your soul forever lives in our hearts. But as we blow these candles out, we invite your spirit to chase the smoke to the Rainbow bridge where we will meet again one day.

Rufus, I am so grateful that we had 11 years together. We shared joys and sorrows. Though I am sad that you are no longer hear wagging your tail, I know that we will be together again on day in...

If your audience is more familiar with ceremony, you can integrate a bit of spiritual hygiene beforehand by smudging yourselves first. The group can spend a few moments getting centered with their candle, and focusing on their intention to thank and release Rufus.

This is a second version of a spirit release involving fire and may be better suited for those who have a longer message, or are less apt to express such strong feelings in public.

In this version, a small campfire or brazier can be used if conditions are safe. The one large fire can be a substitute for smaller candles. With a larger one, you have the option of burning letters to the deceased. Sometimes we may be able to write in a letter what we cannot say out loud.

Family members are invited to write a letter to the departed, expressing what cannot be shared any other way. The letters are burned to deliver them. If you don’t have a bbq or fire pit, but still want this portion, a small but hot fire can be made just using fatwood (available in most grocery stores) and a sturdy metal bucket. This kind of fire will light with a match (perhaps a bit of dryer lint as well), burn briefly but bright and hot, and will be contained in the bucket. Always be safe with fire, have a back up plan if you need to put it out fast. It's easy to add wood for a bit more flame, much harder to remove it.

You might say something like this...

Rufus, we love you so much, and know that you will live forever in our hearts, but your time in our home has passed. We each have written you a letter expressing our love and thanks that you came into our lives. While you only could woof at us, we know that you will understand our words, and the love in our hearts.

written by Peter of Pawsitive Memorials

I am sorry about your loss.